Let me start with something I’ve never admitted before: I once had so little faith in my financial future, I’d hoard loose change in an old socks drawer. It was both pathetic and, frankly, kind of genius—because at the time, I believed that's all I deserved. If you’ve ever felt like abundance is a word for someone else, that freeing yourself from financial anxiety is totally out of reach, you’re far from alone. Today, I’m pulling back the curtain on how I rewrote my money story, warts and all.
An Uncomfortable Truth: Your Money Story Was Written Before You Had a Say
One of the most uncomfortable truths I’ve discovered on my journey to financial freedom is this: my money story was written long before I ever had a say in it. Most of our beliefs about money aren’t chosen—they’re absorbed. As children, we watch, listen, and internalize the attitudes, arguments, and anxieties of the adults around us. Without realizing it, we inherit these scripts, and they quietly shape our relationship with money for years to come.
Growing up, I heard my parents repeat the mantra, “We have just enough.” It was their way of reassuring themselves and us that we’d get by, even if things were tight. But as a kid, I didn’t just hear those words—I felt them. “Just enough” became the ceiling for what I believed I deserved. I remember watching my parents stress over bills at the kitchen table, their voices tense and worried. Even when my dad started earning more, the sense of scarcity lingered. I never felt comfortable asking for extras, like new shoes or the latest video game, because I didn’t want to be a burden. That early conditioning left me feeling undeserving of abundance, even when circumstances improved.
It’s not just my story. Most of us carry money beliefs that aren’t really ours. Maybe you heard, “Money doesn’t grow on trees,” or “Rich people are greedy.” These phrases sound harmless, but they plant seeds of doubt and fear. Over time, they grow into powerful narratives that can haunt us well into adulthood. I’ve met people who, despite earning good money, still feel guilty spending on themselves or anxious about losing it all. Others avoid financial opportunities because deep down, they believe that wanting more is selfish or wrong.
These beliefs are often reinforced by what we see and hear in our communities. If money was a source of tension or even divorce in your family, it’s natural to associate finances with stress and conflict. If you grew up hearing that “good people are poor,” you might unconsciously sabotage your own success, believing that wealth and virtue can’t coexist. As J Shetty shared in his own story, he internalized the idea that making money was hard and sometimes even “dodgy.” Even after achieving massive online success, he still battled anxiety around money and felt unworthy of abundance.
Recognizing that my money story wasn’t really mine was both liberating and unsettling. It meant that many of my fears and insecurities weren’t personal failings—they were inherited patterns. The first step to rewriting my story was simply noticing these old scripts. I started paying attention to my physical and emotional reactions when dealing with money: the tightness in my chest when checking my bank account, the guilt when spending on something I enjoyed, the urge to avoid financial conversations altogether.
By bringing awareness to these patterns, I began to see how much of my financial behavior was driven by beliefs I never chose. This realization opened the door to change—and to the possibility of creating a new, more abundant money story for myself.
Breaking the Curse: How Financial Anxiety Keeps Us Stuck (and How Awareness Sets Us Free)
For a long time, I believed that my struggles with money were because I wasn’t disciplined or smart enough. But the truth is, most people avoid their finances out of fear or shame, not laziness. This realization was a turning point for me. I started to see that financial anxiety is a kind of emotional trap—a “curse” that keeps us stuck, no matter what our actual bank balance says.
When I felt broke, I would obsess over every dollar, hoarding money emotionally even if I had enough to cover my needs. I’d avoid checking my bank account, put off opening bills, and feel a wave of dread whenever I had to spend, even on essentials. This wasn’t about being careless; it was about being scared. I was afraid of what I’d find, and even more afraid of what it might say about me as a person.
J Shetty’s conversations about money made me realize that this kind of anxiety is almost universal. It doesn’t matter if you grew up with “just enough” or with plenty—if you internalize the belief that money is hard to get, or that you’re not worthy of abundance, you end up stuck in a cycle of scarcity. The world isn’t always fair, and many of us inherit our money stories from parents who struggled, argued, or even divorced over finances. These early experiences shape how we relate to money as adults.
For me, the first step in breaking this curse was awareness. I had to get curious about my reactions to money. I started paying attention to my body and emotions in everyday situations:
- When I opened my wallet, did my shoulders tense up?
- Did I breathe more shallowly when checking my account balance?
- Was I feeling anxious, ashamed, or even resentful when paying bills?
I began to journal about these moments. Sometimes I’d write a quick note after a purchase: “Felt a knot in my stomach buying groceries today.” Other times, I’d reflect on bigger patterns—like how I felt unworthy of nice things, or guilty for spending on myself. This practice helped me see that my anxiety wasn’t just about numbers; it was about old beliefs and fears.
What surprised me most was realizing that my financial anxiety led to a kind of emotional hoarding. Even when I had enough, I acted as if I was always on the edge. I’d say no to experiences, avoid generosity, and miss out on opportunities because I was so focused on protecting what little I had. This mindset kept me stuck, reinforcing the very scarcity I was trying to escape.
Through awareness, I started to shift. I learned to separate my self-worth from my net worth. I began to see money as a tool, not a measure of my value. The more I paid attention to my thoughts and feelings, the more freedom I found. Awareness didn’t magically solve my financial problems, but it gave me the power to respond differently—to choose generosity, gratitude, and growth, even when anxiety tried to keep me small.
Rewriting Your Script: Growing from Scarcity to an Abundance Mindset
For a long time, I believed my financial situation was determined by my paycheck or my background. But as I listened to conversations with thought leaders like J Shetty and Lewis Howes, I realized that my beliefs about money—not my income—were shaping my financial reality. This was a breakthrough moment. I started to see that the stories I told myself about money, often inherited from my family or past experiences, were quietly running the show. If I believed money was hard to earn or that wealth was somehow “bad,” I found myself repeating the same patterns of stress, anxiety, and scarcity, no matter how much I earned.
One of the most powerful shifts I made was moving from a feeling of helplessness to one of helpfulness. Instead of obsessing over what I lacked, I began focusing on what I could give—my time, my energy, my ideas. This wasn’t always easy, especially during times when I felt broke or uncertain about the future. But I learned that generosity isn’t just about money. As Shetty and Howes discussed, being generous with your attention, kindness, or creativity can open doors and build relationships that lead to both inner and outer wealth.
To support this shift, I started using simple mindset tools:
- Daily Affirmations: Each morning, I would repeat phrases like, “Money comes to me abundantly and freely. I am a magnet for opportunities.” This helped rewire my brain to expect good things, even when my bank account said otherwise.
- Gratitude Practices: I made it a habit to notice and appreciate even the smallest financial wins—a found coin, a kind gesture, or a free coffee. Inspired by Shetty’s tradition of honoring Lakshmi, I began to treat every bit of money with respect and gratitude.
- Reframing Old Stories: Whenever I caught myself thinking, “I’ll never get ahead,” I paused and asked, “Is this really true, or is it just an old story?” By questioning these beliefs, I started to loosen their grip and create space for new possibilities.
Awareness was the first step. I paid attention to my physical and emotional reactions when dealing with money—tightness in my chest, shallow breathing, or a sense of dread. I reflected on where these feelings came from. Did my parents argue about money? Was I taught that wanting more was selfish? By tracing these patterns, I could see how my “money story” was shaped and begin to write a new one.
What surprised me most was how much abundance is about mindset, not just math. Even when I had little, investing in my skills, showing up with energy, and serving others created a sense of richness inside me. As Shetty and Howes shared, some of the most successful people they know started with nothing but a willingness to help and a belief that they could add value. This mindset, more than any external circumstance, was the foundation for lasting abundance.
Wild Card: If Money Talked Back—A Conversation Worth Having
Imagine for a moment that money was your childhood friend. If it could talk, what would it say about how you treat it? Would it feel welcomed, respected, and valued—or ignored, resented, and misunderstood? This playful thought experiment helped me see my relationship with money in a new light, especially as I worked to unravel my own money story.
For years, my connection with money was a lot like having an anxious pet. Sometimes, I’d shower it with attention—tracking every penny, obsessing over budgets, and stressing about the future. Other times, I’d ignore it completely, hoping my problems would disappear if I just stopped checking my bank account. Like a nervous dog, my money seemed to act out when I neglected it: bills would pile up, unexpected expenses would pop out of nowhere, and I’d feel even more out of control.
But what if money could call me out for ghosting it? I imagine that conversation would go something like this:
Money: “Hey, I noticed you only think about me when you’re stressed or scared. You avoid me when things get tough, but expect me to be there when you need me. How do you think that makes me feel?”
Me: “Honestly, I’m sorry. I’ve treated you like a problem instead of a partner. I’ve let fear and old stories dictate how I act around you. I want to change that. I want to build trust, show gratitude, and learn how to work with you—not against you.”
This little script might sound silly, but it’s helped me realize that my relationship with money is just that—a relationship. Like any relationship, it needs attention, respect, and honesty. When I started to see money as something I could nurture, rather than something to fear or chase, things began to shift. I became more aware of my emotional responses—whether I was anxious paying bills or grateful when receiving a paycheck. I started to notice the patterns I inherited from my family and the beliefs I picked up along the way.
J Shetty’s conversation about money being like a friend or a guest in your home really resonated with me. If I want money to stick around, I need to treat it with kindness and respect. That means being generous, even when I feel like I don’t have much to give. It means investing in myself—my skills, my confidence, my ability to add value to others. It means being open to opportunities, no matter how small, and showing gratitude for every bit of abundance that comes my way.
Ultimately, the richness I seek isn’t just about numbers in my bank account. It’s about the quality of my relationship with money—and with myself. By treating money as a trusted friend, I’m learning to move from scarcity and anxiety to a mindset of abundance, service, and genuine freedom. If money could talk, I hope it would say, “Thanks for finally seeing me—and for inviting me to be a true partner in your life.”
TL;DR: Your relationship with money is more about beliefs and stories than it is about numbers. Understanding and reshaping those stories can help you break free from financial anxiety and start building true abundance—one mindset shift at a time.
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